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Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Conversations with Lao Tzu ~ Part IV, Nothingness


'Now what?' I asked. 'Now nothing', Lao Tzu replied. Ah! That's a big one, I thought, smiling inwardly. When the Master speaks, don't go for the casual meaning. Here I was, sitting with the Master of Nothingness. 
So how does one take forward a conversation on Nothing with the great Lao Tzu? I decided to proceed with caution here. Lao Tzu was lying back on a rustic deck chair, without a care in the world. He is certainly the most content person I have ever met. Every cell in his body is peaceful.

I decided that quietly observing him would probably be the wisest way to satiate my curiosity on 'nothingness'. Why expect a discourse, when he was right beside me, transmitting the energy. Why not open my heart chakra and allow myself to 'absorb' the lesson. Feeling pleased at this insight, I made myself as peaceful as possible, asked my mind to take a nap rather than chatter, and entered my heart chakra. 

After a while, I felt my pulse slowing down, as I slipped into a deeper peacefulness. My heart filled with reverence, not specifically for the Master, but for everything around me. A choking feeling overcame me, as I was suffused with gratitude for being here now. My eyes brimmed over as I watched this rare experience of gratitude soften my heart. 'so this is what a melting heart feels like', I thought, as I experienced a dissolving of my finite contours. I could understand the magnanimity of the great being beside me, who so easily fulfilled my desire to know what love felt like. This was the first time I had experienced the overwhelming feeling in a non-directed, impersonal way. The entire world was enveloped in this mystical moment. The world appeared brighter, the colours were more intense, less solid. Almost translucent. Time stood still - for god knows how long! There was nothing inside me, no thought, no feeling, no boundary even. 

But yes, there was a crispness, an alertness or clarity I had not experienced before. It was as if the secret codes of a combination lock were tumbling into place, and finally there was a click! In that moment of heightened existence, I simply knew why the sun rose every day, why the seasons came, why we took birth and died. I saw circles with circles, designs within designs. 

Lao tzu sat beside me in perfect stillness, and I knew that I knew that I knew.

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