In the beautiful land called the Rann of Kutch, where I was facilitating a lab for young persons, I enjoyed existing with a keen awareness of my existance, within and without. We were living in a lovely resort, in the middle of nowhere (almost), with flamingoes and elegant wild asses as neighbours. The earthiness of the place, including feeling the earth under my feet, as we sat in the tents for our work, made me and my work more grounded.
While there, in the utter silence of the environment, I could listen to the smallest shifts, crackles and sounds inside me. I wish to share about the awareness that happened of the insidious process by which I passed a judgement in my head about someone, or held a complaint, which got glossed over. This process happened with quickness, came and went like a flash of lightning. and forgotton, as I rushed from one activity to another. I thank my guides for pointing this out to me. With the first judgement, the seed, I began buiding an image where none existed. And the process of putting people in frames began. I realised how it all begins with one judgement, made in unawareness. This one unchecked judgement became the foundation or seed that birthed a new one everytime I was before the framed person. When judgements come, complaints are sure to follow!
So, the 'aha' moment for me was.. 'so this is how the meaning making begins, so quietly, so insidiously, till I have collected enough 'evidence' for me to feel right about it.' I must say it was a thilling moment for me. Of how the seed becomes the tree, a 'fruitful' tree, and the fruit is called 'I am right'. Everytime I pass a judgement, I am watering the seed, which, with regular nourishment, becomes a healthy, deeply rooted, fruit-bearing tree! Then I can say with surety, 'she is always like that, he is always doing this'. The 'always' word in my vocabulary is the giveaway that something suspicious is going on underground. I begin to operate with such persons within a frame of reference and meaning that I have created. This is a heavy, tiresome, critical way to relate.
So the practice I began was a weeding process of my judgements, complaints, blames, assumptions before going to bed. I scanned my day, and let go all that stuff I was holding on to, cleared the air, and then went to sleep. I reeled back my projections, owned what I was refusing to acknowledge within myself. I know I judge in others what I don't own in myself. I got a clue to what I was denying looking at within. I'm happy I could prevent myself from wronging someone in my head. Living in judgement entirely my creation. I slept freer, and woke up happier.
So, the 'aha' moment for me was.. 'so this is how the meaning making begins, so quietly, so insidiously, till I have collected enough 'evidence' for me to feel right about it.' I must say it was a thilling moment for me. Of how the seed becomes the tree, a 'fruitful' tree, and the fruit is called 'I am right'. Everytime I pass a judgement, I am watering the seed, which, with regular nourishment, becomes a healthy, deeply rooted, fruit-bearing tree! Then I can say with surety, 'she is always like that, he is always doing this'. The 'always' word in my vocabulary is the giveaway that something suspicious is going on underground. I begin to operate with such persons within a frame of reference and meaning that I have created. This is a heavy, tiresome, critical way to relate.
So the practice I began was a weeding process of my judgements, complaints, blames, assumptions before going to bed. I scanned my day, and let go all that stuff I was holding on to, cleared the air, and then went to sleep. I reeled back my projections, owned what I was refusing to acknowledge within myself. I know I judge in others what I don't own in myself. I got a clue to what I was denying looking at within. I'm happy I could prevent myself from wronging someone in my head. Living in judgement entirely my creation. I slept freer, and woke up happier.
Its wonderful to wake up with a smile every morning with the 'goggle goggle' throaty sounds of the turkeys on campus.
I continue to be the clearing. It calls for continuous practice, and awarenss. Now, if the judgement comes, I free myself immediately. And I also free the other person. Clear the air before I have breathed in the mugginess I have created. Of course, practice and awareness is the key.
I intend for a life free of judgements, assumptions, complaints and blame.
Am happy to be on purpose, walking the path.
I continue to be the clearing. It calls for continuous practice, and awarenss. Now, if the judgement comes, I free myself immediately. And I also free the other person. Clear the air before I have breathed in the mugginess I have created. Of course, practice and awareness is the key.
I intend for a life free of judgements, assumptions, complaints and blame.
Am happy to be on purpose, walking the path.
